I cried today when I tried to eat dinner. Mom and Steven were having Pizza Hut’s Supreme pizza on their Thin ‘n’ Crispy crust. I stared at my plate; it was supposed to be a pizza made from chicken for a crust and it was a “supreme” pizza, too. It had black olives, cheese, pepperoni, onions, and some kind of peppers. There was also some sort of weird sauce that I guess was supposed to mimic pizza sauce, but it looked like colored refried beans to me. “I wish I could be normal; I don’t know what that’s like,” I said softly. “Yeah, it’d be nice wouldn’t it?” Steven replied dryly. Other people get to enjoy pizza. I’m stuck eating things that only resemble pizza if even that! I thought to myself and then decided to try a very small piece of that pizza. “Smells very metallic,” Steven said as I inched the piece closer to my mouth. “Yeah, it does; doesn’t it?” I said. That’s really going some for me because the Metformin I take makes everything taste metallic and I rarely notice it any more. I took my small piece and nearly threw up. “I can’t eat this!” I cried. “I’m sorry!”I threw it away in our kitchen waste bin and went downstairs to grab a frozen dinner instead. I just picked up the first one I could find.
While Mom and I waited for the pizza from Pizza Hut, we talked about how it’s impossible for me to enjoy anything any more and why. Long story short, because it took me 15-20 minutes to tell her, it’s due to my multiple medicines and chemical reactions in my body. I don’t know what it’s like to not have certain foods aggravate my stomach minutes later.
I’ve had to cut out so many foods in at least 10 years. I used to be able to enjoy pizza of any kind, chicken of all kinds, mashed potatoes, dairy milk (as opposed to soy, almond, etc.), and excess garlic.
What, indeed, is it like to be normal? I’m also in the minority in that I’m in my late 30s and still live in my childhood home. I have slew of health issues (most I’ve only hinted at, but you may get more details this year) both mental and physical. I mean there is so much that makes me abnormal that I just wonder what it’s like to not have all these issues. Steven’s in a similar boat (if not the same boat).
Well, that’s what’s weighing on my mind this Thursday night. Feel free to weigh in yourself with your opinions, thoughts, etc.
Love and prayers, as always! ❤