This Christmas was different from most Christmases that I remember. It all started last night when we attended Christmas Eve Mass at 4:30. We arrived at least 10-15 minutes ahead of time, but there was almost no place in the parking lot to park and even less room when we entered the main church. I had to pull in the parking slot forward (I normally back in or pull through), but figured it would be fine as Steven offered to help me see on my way out.
When we got in the main church I looked diligently around for a seat. Several attempts later, I gave up and found an usher and asked him to help us find a seat for 3. He found one; the only drawback was it was in the very front row directly in front of the pulpit. I took it and was happy to have a seat even if it meant making a spectacle of myself and my family. I told the usher “Thank you so much! I was trying so hard to find a seat as this Mass is being said for my daddy! I knew we had to find a seat. Thank you and Merry Christmas!” I also ended up sitting next to a friend of mine from my job as a cashier at the local grocery store.
During Mass I recognized the person reading the Second Reading last night. He looked and sounded familiar, but I could not place him until much later in Mass. It was my high school’s president! I was happy to have him help us celebrate Mass for Daddy.
As Mass continued I found myself less and less sad. I was no longer unhappy and found peace filling my heart this year. I didn’t cry at all during Mass. I normally start crying around the Homily or during the Presentation of the Gifts. As is, I didn’t cry. I also, ironically, wasn’t paying a lot of attention in Mass this time. I didn’t look around too much for Daddy as I usually do. I felt him, and didn’t need to look for him.
So let’s recap, thus far, my Christmas Firsts: had to park pulling in forward, had to ask an usher for a seat, sat next to a friend during Mass, saw a high school friend/president that helped celebrate Mass, wasn’t unhappy during Mass, didn’t cry during Mass, felt Daddy in my heart this year, and didn’t pay a lot of attention to Mass. Interesting!
This morning it was unseasonably warm here. It’s in the middle 60s (in Fahrenheit) and it’s been raining off and on all day. Also woke up around 8:00 a.m. Usually we all give each other hugs for our gifts and say that we’ll do our best to be better next year. No hugs were exchanged this year. Thoughts turned right away to dinner and doing our “daily routine.” As sad as that was, I am still not surprised. Life’s taken us all a number directions this year and we haven’t had time to be family much. I’ll be first to admit I don’t remember what it’s like to take it easy; I’m constantly busy and rushing to and fro most days. I also do a “disappearing act” as Steven calls it. I am gone for the better part of any given day either because of work or taking Mom somewhere (today was no exception as I had to go for a walk around our neighborhood after lunch/dinner).
Lastly, the Chiefs (our local, North American football team) will be playing tonight. I don’t know if it’s a first or not, but for me it’s a first to know my team will be playing on Christmas.
Well, there you have it! Those are all my Christmas firsts and now I’m going to actually quit early so I can go lay down on the bed and rest for another hour or two before playing some video games before bed (yes, I know that’s bad and I shouldn’t do it, but it’s a hard habit to break) and/or watch some videos with the family!
Love and prayers, as always! ❤