So I’ve been praying a lot lately; not just since Election Day, November 8, but even before then. These devotionals I’ve found online just have me praying a lot and for more than I usually do. I’ve also been doing some serious reflecting. Let me be the first to point out, I wasn’t always so keen on prayer; I figured it was something you do at church/Mass once a week or when you really want something or need something (an example of the latter is when you really want your sports team to win a championship or need some money to pay your bills).
I’ve found myself, not physically mind you, on my knees in prayer and worship. Right now, in fact, as I’m typing to you all, I’m listening to a CD that I think I have only ever listened to once in the whole time I’ve had it and it’s a worship CD. It’s Michael W. Smith’s Worship album. I bought this or had someone buy it for me many years ago, but until recently (last week in fact was the first time I pulled it out of my shelf) it just sat on my shelf collecting dust and probably even the booklet that came with it was starting to seal itself together because of the corner of my room that it’s in gets very little air circulation. Surprisingly, when I pulled it out last Sunday I discovered it was still in pristine condition. I could still open the pages. I decided to listen to it last Sunday as I went about my Sunday morning/afternoon rituals (or routines). I thought maybe it would just be a one time thing. I probably would switch to a new CD next week and it wouldn’t affect me that much. I was wrong! I didn’t finish listening to it last Sunday, so I kept it in the stereo in my room and promised myself to finish listening to it this Sunday, today!
As I made my way through these past two weeks something miraculous has happened. I can’t put it into words, which is unusual for me as words usually come easily, but what I can say is that I found some peace and felt an unusual sense of calmness come over me. I don’t know why or how. Part of me wants to thank “Dad” for that because he’s been in town for two weeks while his daughter is away at training to become our store manager. I-I-I have no idea what to say; usually he’s only here for a few days or a week at a time, but this time, he was here for longer and I actually spent a lot of time in prayer, but I don’t attribute it all to him. Sure, he was a minister for a long time (12 years I believe at his last congregation, but regardless) and he helps me in my prayer life; he’s definitely a mentor and a role-model for me, but I’m not really sure I can attribute this all to him. Sorry, Thayne. I feel I’m actually growing in my faith and becoming stronger as a Christian and a leader — a Christian leader, perhaps? — and learning my role, my place. I think I’m finally starting to understand my calling. I’m also starting to learn more about my family, too. As I’ve been doing some of this growing and learning, I’m finding I have more questions and more things are becoming revealed to me than I have ever learned in a classroom. I’ve been praying a lot lately.
Prayer is also not just a one way thing if you will; it involves both listening and talking. I’ve been praying to God and listening to Him as well. Prayer is communication with God; I’ve spent many days, nights, and working hours listening and talking with God. We’ve been in serious talks and debates lately. Call me delusional if you want, but I don’t know — I don’t feel I have been. I’ve just been doing a lot of talking, learning, and praying lately. Things are slowly becoming clear. I’m ready to share if you are ready to read and listen to me. If you’re ready, subscribe (or continue to stay subscribed), share this blog with others, pray with me and for me, and above all just be open-minded and have an open heart with what I say in person and write in this blog. I’m growing; I’m learning.
Finally, it is all starting to become clear. I’ve been praying a lot lately!
Love and prayers, as always! ❤