I’ll admit this entry took longer than I thought it would to write mostly because I could not think of a topic. I’m also writing this in the middle of the day amidst my (usual?) turmoil and drama of a typical day. I’m sure to most people this is wouldn’t be an ideal time to write, but for me this is fine. I know I don’t sound like myself and super reflective or spiritual right now, but this is really who I am. So if I don’t sound like “myself” please know this entry reflects who I really am and what usually is going on when you can’t “see” me.
I usually try to write in the evening when things have calmed down for the most part and then I’m reflective and spiritual. Heck, I guess you might even say that’s when I have time to put things down that normally make me sound like some super hero to a lot of you. I am humbled you think of me that way, but I’m just like you — I’m only human!
Anyway, today I got to thinking back to a fairly recent time when I was at work and answered the phone because I was in back taking some medicine for a headache that had formed just minutes before I clocked in to work for my shift that day. It happened to be Thayne. Honestly, for whatever reason, as soon as most people see it’s him they don’t want to talk and if I’m working they hand the phone to me. Anyway, I didn’t know it was him because, truthfully, I don’t have his entire number memorized. I just did like Daddy told me (and I’ve heard in Frozen), “don’t let them know, put on a show…make one wrong move and everyone will know…” or in Daddy’s terms “role-play and pretend.” I’ve learned most people don’t want to hear negative things; it seems no one knows how to act when faced with bad or negative news. So, here I was fighting a headache and just swallowed my pills and the phone rang; “Haagen-Dazs/Nestle; this is Christy how can I help you?” I said in my best cheerful voice I could muster with my head pounding. “Hi Christy, this is Thayne! You don’t sound like yourself today; is everything okay?” Came a happy, but concerned voice. I started to swell up with tears; “No, everything is not okay,” I replied and proceeded to tell him I had a headache and a few other things I had on my mind that day. He then told me that he was only calling to say he’d be at the store momentarily. At one point during that conversation he also told me that we could talk over coffee sometime while he was in town; I said I’d like it very much. He’s one of very few people who can tell when I’m “putting on a show.”
So while I may not sound like myself right now, this is who I am. I’m usually in a hurry to get things done and trying not to be vexed by every little thing that happens (e.g., Mom wanting to know who is going to go out and get dinner for us tonight/this afternoon), or distracted from doing my business work (which is what I should be doing now; i.e., finishing a 3D model and working on a new one), or scared out of my mind that I just saw a huge bug in my bedroom/home office (it shouldn’t be here; I’ve made sure there are no signs of food in my room at all). I only ever bring water glasses in here and that’s usually in the evenings. Whatever!
I guess I should sign off as it’s nearing the middle of the afternoon and that means time to pick up dinner. Anyway, welcome to me being me and not sounding like myself, but really being myself. 😉 Wow how confusing is that?! Ha, ha!
Love and prayers, as always! ❤