White Rabbit (for what it’s worth)! I wish I could say that things are looking better, but as we ring in 2016 it’s just another day here at my house. I just finished watching Steven play a video game that he’s lost most of his matches with and feeling down; Mom doesn’t understand and therefore calls herself inadequate in not so many words. I’m here on my laptop in my bedroom again trying to make sense of it all and wishing I could tell you that this year is going to be better.
I managed to accomplish more than I thought I would. I renamed our company (now it’s C & S Productions, LLC), procured a new website/domain name, updated Twitter and Facebook, and started working on business cards.
I’m in tears as I write this; Steven is feeling very down. He feels that everyone thinks he isn’t adequate for anything. I try to tell him he’s worth something to me. I can’t take this! This is why I blog; I try to write my emotions down and hope people will either take pity on me or pray for me and my family. At the very least I pray that people will know they aren’t alone in their struggles.
It’s not easy being the leader of a household where only two people want to be team players and the other is too selfish to realize that they’re only causing trouble. I wasn’t supposed to be a leader. I was supposed to assist in leading, but I wasn’t supposed to be the sole leader. That all changed when Daddy ended up in the hospital and eventually passed on to Heaven.
I’m not prepared in the slightest for this year or anytime that lies beyond today. I just want help; I just want someone to guide me and show me that everything is going to be alright.