Rewriting History

I finally have found my notebook that means so much to me! 😀 I could have sworn this notebook was blue, but when I looked at it again the cover was not blue as I remembered — it was dark gray. Perhaps this is all the more appropriate anyway. It was this notebook that I treasured and has helped me through so much. Now I can rewrite history — my history!

Okay, so maybe I can’t rewrite it in the sense of redoing anything, but I can type it all into my computer. The notebook’s contents is very important to me. It is a story about me; it’s about discovering who I am. All this time I’ve been trying to find my place in this world (which reminds me of a song I think I’ll share later in this entry) and discover who I am.

I haven’t really found a lot to go on as of now, but this part of my autobiography is about discovery and who knows if it will ever be as complete as the first one. That is to say, I doubt I’ll ever finish discovering who I am. I ended the previous part with a definite ending, but this part doesn’t seem to have an end.

So I can’t rewrite history in that I can do things differently, but I am writing or rather typing all of my history into the computer now. It’s been a struggle to re-read and rewrite all of what has happened. I can’t believe how much I’ve been through! 😯

Finally, though, I can begin to heal. This notebook has been what I’ve needed all this time. It’s my way of coping; it’s time to begin accepting these things that have all shaped me into who I am now.

I hope to publish both this part and the previous part if for no other reason than to help others who are struggling like I have and did. I want people to know they are not alone. I want to help others. I always have; that is why I started this blog, too. I suppose that means I do have some kind of sense as to what my true self is — I am a helper!

Anyway, as promised, here is the song that I was thinking of and hope that it will benefit someone else, too. Until next time…

Love and Prayers!

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled

A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems

Feels like I’m
Looking for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me

Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?

Show me, I’m
Looking for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin’ for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Lookin’ for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world

“My Place in This World.” by Michael W. Smith, 1990.

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About Christy

I enjoy: my family, my faith life, photography, drawing; writing, working on cars, basketball, football, and baseball. These are just a few of the many things I like...you'll just have to read my blog to know me better to know more of them. Other things you may not catch on that I enjoy are: cats, angels, ballroom dancing, Christian music, camping (being one with nature and all of God's creations), traveling, cherry and apple blossoms, and the colors blue (in all shades), white, black, dark purple, and SOME shades of pink. (Rainbows are cool, too. And I'm NOT a lesbian! Although, I'm friends with some gays and lesbians as well as a few transgenders.) I am Roman Catholic. I graduated from Johnson County Community College, where I majored in Animation in hopes of fulfilling my dreams of being a computer generated animation movie maker. I also have a degree in Corporate Communication from Avila University. I'm currently employed at Nestle Toll House/Haagen-Dazs (at Oak Park Mall in Overland Park), I own my own business -- C & S Productions, L.L.C. (check it out at http://www.csproductionsllc.com), and am single. My favorite time of year is Winter and the Christmas season! It's just so...well, I can't put it into words. ^_^ Lastly, I am 35 years young!
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One Response to Rewriting History

  1. Pingback: Healing Time | Travelers on the Road

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