This is going to be one of those days I post twice, so here’s my first one. I’m not always the best when it comes to writing unbiased. This was probably more evident in what I wrote Saturday than any other time.
First I want to apologize if anyone (especially my dear friend and manager) thought I was directly talking about them. I was mostly referring to my family (mostly extended, but some times immediate) and to not beat anything around the bush. I didn’t mean to say I’m in a perfect leader either. Nor did I mean my current manager is bossy or wants everyone out of her way. On the contrary, she’s a leader I look up to. Leadership sort of fell into her lap, too. I think she wasn’t prepared for it either. This is why she has a lot to learn (and so do I) about being a leader.
Before I go on any farther, I want to apologize for making this sound like gossip. It’s not intended to be. I’m trying to make it so others know how to handle situations when they come up in their personal lives. I’m sorry if I twist things in my writing. It’s not intended to be twisted. It is intended to be how I see life.
I guess Saturday wasn’t the best, but then again I don’t mind being left in charge. I only get upset when it seems I can’t take 5 or 10 minutes away just to be alone. I’m an introverted leader. It’s hard on me to be in charge when I’m used to just standing aside and observing. I will not take for granted that God has made me a leader now and I must stand up and put on my big girl panties as they say. I just want to have some support (as I’m sure my dear friend and manager wants) as I learn the ropes of being a leader.
Again, I’m sorry if I hurt anyone and if anyone thinks that this is gossip. I wasn’t intending it to be. I also was not trying to twist the truth. I was merely telling it as I see through my eyes (isn’t that all anyone does?). I suppose things did go smoothly Saturday and it wasn’t just “land[ing] in my lap” as I stated Saturday. I was told somewhat that she wasn’t going to be there her whole shift, but again I was just not prepared and I’m certain this is what happens as being new to leadership and all. Maybe this is what it means to an assistant leader (if there is such a term) — you have to be ready at the drop of a hat to take charge. I’m new to leadership, too.
I took a leader role when Daddy passed on and now I am who everyone looks to for stability in our family. I also took charge while Daddy was in the hospital, hospice, and when we had to plan his funeral. It isn’t easy. I know that I’m not the best leader either. I suppose I should just let go and stop gossiping (as some see it, but I don’t).
So let me apologize again and ask for all involved to forgive me; I will move on and stop nagging or “gossiping” as some see it. I will make sure it is as close to unbiased as I can if I talk about anything. I hope you will move on, too and we can continue down the road as fellow companions on our journey (as this blog was intended to be).
Love and prayers!